Tattoos
 

This woman went to the tattooist and had some likenesses of Elvis Presley done on each thigh. When her husband came home, she showed him, and he said, "Well they don't look a damn bit like Elvis to me.  But we'll get a second opinion - the first guy that comes along, we'll ask HIM."

The first guy that comes along is an old wino.  They tell him to take a look, and see if he thinks those tattoos are like Elvis.

So the woman hikes up her dress.  The old man looks from side to side, for a long time. "Well?" the husband asks.

The old man moves back and says, "Those tattoos on her thighs don't look like Elvis to me at all. But that one in the middle is a dead-ringer for Willie Nelson!"