Exercise

It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present, to the LOVE group, the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent..................................12 Calories
Without her consent.............................2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands...................................8 Calories
With one hand....................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection............................3315 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary.......................................12 Calories
69 lying down....................................78 Calories
69 standing up..................................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow.....................................216 Calories
Doggy Style.....................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier.............................2912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real............................................112 Calories
Fake...........................................1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately...........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:

20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years......................................80 Calories
40-49 years.....................................124 Calories
50-59 years....................................1972 Calories
60-69 years....................................7916 Calories
70 and over........................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly...........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...........5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

Results may vary

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My grand-daddy worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a young fella, and he used to tell me, when I was a little nipper, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the hard work of blacksmithing. One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles. As he told it, he would stand outside behind the wood shed, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out from his sides and hold them there as long as he could. After awhile he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than two full minutes ...

Then, he started putting potatoes in the sacks.