Baby Boomers

Can you remember these ?

1. Candy cigarettes

2. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

3. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.

4. Coffee shops with table side juke boxes

5. Blackjack, Clove, and Teaberry chewing gum

6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles, with cardboard stoppers.

7. Party lines.

8. Newsreels before the movie.

9. P. F. Flyers

10. Butch wax

11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix ...(Fairfax-5505)

12. Pea shooters.

13. Howdy Doody

14. 45 RPM Records

15. Green Stamps

16. Hi-fi's

17. Metal ice cube trays--with levers

18. Mimeograph paper

19. Blue flash Bulbs

20. Beanie and Cecil

21. Roller skate keys

22. Cork pop guns

23. Drive-ins

24. Studebakers

25. Wash tub wringers

26. The Fuller Brush man

27. Reel-to-reel tape recorders

28. Tinker toys

29. The Erector Set

30. The Fort Apache Play set

31. Lincoln Logs

32. 15 cent McDonald hamburgers

33. 5 cent packs of baseball cards...with that awful pink slab of bubble gum

34. Penny candy

35. 35 cent-a-gallon gasoline

A TIME WHEN ...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming "do over!"

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties."

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.A foot of snow was a dream come true.

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

War was a card game.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

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Then and Now ...

Then: Long hair
Now : Longing for hair

Then: A keg
Now : An EKG

Then: Acid rock
Now : Acid reflux

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now : Moving to California because it's hot.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
Now : Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
Now : Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth
Taylor

Then: The President's struggle with Fidel
Now : The President's struggle with fidelity

Then: Killer weed
Now : Weed killer

Then: The Grateful Dead
Now : Dr. Kevorkian

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint
Now : Getting a new hip joint

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OFFICIAL BABY BOOMER QUALIFYING EXAM

QUESTION #1: Name the Beatles - both the first and last name of each, of course. Consider this a warm-up. [If you can't answer this one without thinking, close up the test, and move on to something else. We have nothing further to discuss.] ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________

QUESTION #2: Finish the line: "Lions and tigers and bears, ____ _____!" Admittedly, this came along before we boomers were born. But we remember it from both the movies and the boob tube.

QUESTION #3: "Hey kids, what time is it?" ______ _________ ________ ________.

QUESTION #4: What do M&M's do? _____ ___ ______ ________, _____ _______ _______.

QUESTION #5: What helps build strong bodies 12 ways? _________ _________.

QUESTION #6: Long before he was Mohammed Ali, before he was The Greatest, we knew him as _________ _________.

QUESTION #7: "You'll wonder where the yellow went, _____ ____ ______ _____ ______ _____ ___________."

QUESTION #8: Those post-baby boomers, or baby boomer wannabes, know Bob Denver as the Skipper's "little buddy." But we true boomers know that Bob Denver is actually Dobie's closest friend, _____________ G. _____________.

QUESTION #9: M-I-C: See ya' real soon; K-E-Y: _____? _________ ___ ______ _______."

QUESTION #10: Definition: A "streaker" is someone who might go running through the lobby of the girls' dormitory ______________.

QUESTION #11: "Brylcream: ___ ________ _______ _______ ______ _______."

QUESTION #12: Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone ________ ____.

QUESTION #13: From the early days of our music, real rock 'n roll, finish this line: "I wonder, wonder, wonder...wonder who; _______ _______ ____ _______ ___ _______."

QUESTION #14: And while we're remembering rock n' roll, try this one: "War...uh-huh, huh...yea; what is it good for? ___________ ____________."

QUESTION #15: This is from a kinder and gentler protest song, but the question is just as profound: Where have all the flowers gone? Perhaps you could use a little help here: "Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing? Where have all the flowers gone? ____ ______ _____ _______ _____ ______ ____."
 

QUESTION #16: Meanwhile, back home in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and ____ _______________ _______.

QUESTION #17: He came out of the University of Alabama, and became one of the best quarterbacks in the history of the NFL and later went on to appear in a television commercial wearing women's stockings. He is Broadway ______ _____________.

QUESTION #18: "I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man. I'm strong to the finish, ______ __ _____ ___ _______. I'm Popeye the sailor man."

QUESTION #19: Your children probably recall that Peter Pan was recently played by Robin Williams, but we will always remember when Peter was played by ______ _______.

QUESTION #20: In the movie, The Graduate, young Benjamin, played by Dustin Hoffman was counseled about his future, and told to consider one thing: _______________.

QUESTION #21: In another movie from the late sixties, Paul Newman played Luke, a ne'er do well who was sent to a prison camp for cutting off the heads of parking meters with a pipe cutter. When he was captured after an unsuccessful attempt to escape, the camp commander (played by Strother Martin) used this experience as a lesson for the other prisoners, and explained, "What we have here, ____ ___ ___________ _____ _________________."

QUESTION #22: In 1962, a dejected politician chastised the press after losing a race for governor while announcing his retirement from politics. "Just think, you won't have ________ ____________ to kick around any more."

QUESTION #23: "Every morning, at the mine, you could see him arrive; He stood six foot, six, weighted 245. Kinda' broad at the shoulder, and narrow at the hip. And everybody knew you didn't give no lip, ___ ____ _______."

QUESTION #24: "I found my thrill, _____ ____________ __________________." You may remember Riche Cunningham singing this. But if you are a true boomer, you know it was Fats Domino who made this line famous.

QUESTION #25: "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, ___________ ____ ____." This originated long before even the first of us boomers was born. But in order to be a true baby boomer, you have to have some breadth.

QUESTION #26: "Good night, David." "_________ _________,__________."

QUESTION #27. "Liar, liar, ______ ___ _____."

QUESTION #28. "When it's least expected, you're elected; You're the star today. Smile! _______ ___ _______ _______."

QUESTION #29. From our parents' day, as I recall, it was Pogo, the comic strip character, who said, "We have met the enemy, and ____ ____ _____."

QUESTION #30. Who put the bop in the bop she-bop she-bop? ___________________________________________
 

 ANSWERS:

 QUESTION #1: Name the Beatles - both the first and last name of each, of course. [John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr]

QUESTION #2: Finish the line: "Lions and tigers and bears, [oh my!]"

QUESTION #3: "Hey kids, what time is it?" [Its Howdy Doody time.]

QUESTION #4: What do M&M's do? [Melt in your mouth, not your hands.]

QUESTION #5: What helps build strong bodies 12 ways? [Wonder Bread.]

QUESTION #6: Long before he was Mohammed Ali, before he was The Greatest, we knew him as [Cassius Clay.]

QUESTION #7: "You'll wonder where the yellow went, [when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.]"

QUESTION #8: Those post-baby boomers, or baby boomer wannabes, know Bob Denver as the Skipper's "little buddy." But we true boomers know that Bob Denver is actually Dobie's closest friend, [Maynard G. Krebs.]

QUESTION #9: M-I-C: See ya' real soon; K-E-Y: [Why? Because we like you.]

QUESTION #10: Definition: A "streaker" is someone who might go running through the lobby of the girls' dormitory [naked.]

QUESTION #11: "Brylcream: [A little dab will do ya.]"

QUESTION #12: Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone [over 30.]

QUESTION #13: From the early days of our music, real rock 'n roll, finish this line: "I wonder, wonder, wonder...wonder who; [who wrote the book of love.]"

QUESTION #14: And while we're remembering rock n' roll, try this one: "War...uh-huh, huh...yea; what is it good for? [Absolutely nothin'.]

QUESTION #15: This is from a kinder and gentler protest song, but the question is just as profound: Where have all the flowers gone? Perhaps you could use a little help here: "Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing? Where have all the flowers gone? [Young girls picked them, every one.]"

QUESTION #16: Meanwhile, back home in Metropolis, Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and [the American way.]

QUESTION #17: He came out of the University of Alabama, and became one of the best quarterbacks in the history of the NFL and later went on to appear in a television commercial wearing women's stockings. He is Broadway [Joe Naimoth.]

QUESTION #18: "I'm Popeye the sailor man; I'm Popeye the sailor man. I'm strong to the finish, ['cause I eats me spinach.] I'm Popeye the sailor man."

QUESTION #19: Your children probably recall that Peter Pan was recently played by Robin Williams, but we will always remember when Peter was played by [Mary Martin.]

QUESTION #20: In the movie, The Graduate, young Benjamin, played by Dustin Hoffman was counseled about his future, and told to consider one thing: [plastics.]

QUESTION #21: In another movie from the late sixties, Paul Newman played Luke, a ne'er do well who was sent to a prison camp for cutting off the heads of parking meters with a pipe cutter. When he was captured after an unsuccessful attempt to escape, the camp commander (played by Strother Martin) used this experience as a lesson for the other prisoners, and explained, "What we have here, [is a failure to communicate.]"

QUESTION #22: In 1962, a dejected politician chastised the press after losing a race for governor while announcing his retirement from politics. "Just think, you won't have [Dick Nixon] to kick around any more."

QUESTION #23: "Every morning, at the mine, you could see him arrive; He stood six foot, six, weighted 245. Kinda' broad at the shoulder, and narrow at the hip. And everybody knew you didn't give no lip, [to Big John.]"

QUESTION #24: "I found my thrill, [on Blueberry Hill.]" You may remember Riche Cunningham singing this. But if you are a true boomer, you know it was Fats Domino who made this line famous.

QUESTION #25: "Good night, Mrs. Calabash, [wherever you are.]" This originated long before even the first of us boomers was born. But in order to be a true baby boomer, you have to have some breadth.

QUESTION #26: "Good night, David." "[Good night, Chet.]"

QUESTION #27. "Liar, liar, [pants on fire.]"

QUESTION #28. "When it's least expected, you're elected; You're the star today. Smile! [Your on Candid Camera.]"

QUESTION #29. From our parents' day, as I recall, it was Pogo, the comic strip character, who said, "We have met the enemy, and [they are ours.]" (Some believe it is: [he is us.] Take your pick.)

QUESTION #30. Who put the bop in the bop she-bop she-bop? [Who put the ram in the ramalama-ding-dong?]

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Baby Boomers Remember:

- Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.

- When Kool-Aid was the only other drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.

- When there were two types of sneakers for boys.

- When boys couldn't wear anything but leather shoes to school.

- When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.

- When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.

- When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.

- When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.

- When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.

- When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.

- When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.

- When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.

- When all your teachers wore either neckties or had their hair done, everyday.

- When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And you got trading stamps to boot!

- When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.

- When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.

- When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.

- When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed--and did!

- When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

- When women were called, "Mrs. John Smith," instead of their own name.

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THE CLASS OF '02

(Editor's note: Just to make you feel even older, this piece was written in 1998)

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era, and did not know he had ever been shot. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression. There has only been one Pope.

They can only really remember one president. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart, and do not remember the Cold War. They have never feared a nuclear war. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie. CCCP is just a bunch of letters. They have only known one Germany. They are too young to remember the Space shuttle blowing up, and Tienamin Square means nothing to them. They do not know who Momar Qadafi is.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS. They never had a Polio shot, and likely, do not know what it is. Bottle caps have not only always been screw off, but have always been plastic. They have no idea what a pull top can looks like. Atari pre-dates them, as do vinyl albums. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them. They have never owned a record Player. They have likely never played Pac Man, and have never heard of Pong. Star Wars looks very fake and the special effects are pathetic. There have always been Red M&M's, and Blue ones are not new. What do you mean there used to be beige ones?

They may have heard of an 8-track, but chances are they probably have never actually seen or heard one. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents. Zip codes have always had a dash in them. They have always had an answering machine. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV. They have always had cable. There have always been VCR's, but they have no idea what Beta is. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony. Rollerskating has always meant inline for them. They have never heard of King Cola, Burger Chef, The Globe Democrat, Pan AM or Ozark Airlines. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool. Popcorn has always been cooked in a microwave.

They have never seen and remember a game that included the St. Louis Football Cardinals, the Baltimore Colts, the Minnesota North Stars, the Kansas City Kings, the New Orleans Jazz, The Minnesota Lakers, The Atlanta Flames, or the Denver Rockies (NHL hockey, that is). They do not consider the Colorado Rockies, the Florida Marlins, The Florida Panthers, The Ottawa Senators, the San Jose Sharks, or the Tampa Bay Lightning "expansion teams".

They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a Football player. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII or even the Civil War. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard the terms "Where's the beef?", "I'd Walk a mile for Camel",or "de plane, de plane!". They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. is. The Cosby Show, The Facts of Life, Silver Spoons, The Love Boat, Miami Vice, WKRP in Cincinnati, and Taxi are shows they have likely never seen.

The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was. Michael Jackson has always been white. They cannot remember the Cardinals ever winning a World Series, or even being in one. Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups. McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers.

Do you feel old now? Remember, the people who don't know these things will be in college this year.